In reviewing my last post, it’s become clear that it’s time to get real, that the delay was my old pattern of P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N.
Thank you to a dear friend who called me out on this pattern yesterday. Being called the biggest procrastinator in someone’s life is Wow, rough. And then this post from MysticMamma… This message is really being driven through and through.
What makes one dwell in this pattern of procrastination? I think it stems from fear. Fear of rejection, fear of judgement, fear of hearing “No” that translates into not being enough, or not being worthy. But those are all stories. Procrastinating allowed me to avoid that fear as long as possible, even if undesirable outcomes loomed increasingly larger… whether it be the guilt of making friends or loved ones wait until I show up to a dinner, or suffering the scarcity of a dwindling bank account because I procrastinated in getting on people/enterprises who owe me money, or the self defeating thoughts from not fulfilling a personal goal to provide resources (Help Resource Page) as a part of the overarching goal of this site, or simply asking for what I want.
Then, just like that! The truth reveals itself. This state of Procrastination and staying in limbo is actually a form of control. What is there to control? Well, time. Since we can’t control what others will say or do, the only thing we have is time. Many of us let time drag on, putting things off for another day, dreading facing facts, ending a long overdue relationship to free all parties to discover their joys and loves, or whatever it may be that we’re holding on to… even pain. Yet time is fluid, and it runs out. The sooner we let go that which we think we are in control of, the sooner we discover freedom, peace, and opportunities in a whole new space, for ourselves, and availing for others theirs as well. Sure, one can allow the pattern of seemingly having control to continue. Is it serving you? It sure isn’t serving me any longer. I choose to change that pattern. I’m breaking that debilitating cycle stemming from fears of judgement, rejection, and self worth once and for all this January. Ya, it gets scary sometimes, but it’s also refreshing how good it feels to finally let go of fear, and allow opportunities and possibilities to flow to me. Now is the time for a RESET. And this feels empowering.
Instead of saying, I’m going to stop procrastinating, how about reframing one’s language altogether so it’s more empowering:
By doing things timely, in the now, I allow others ample time to afford gifting me big potentials, rewards, possibilities, and awesomeness in return. I can trust that everything will unfold perfectly.